Haiku #148: Friday
I will be home soon with my girl and food. AND NOW I’m hungry as fuq
Haiku #147: NaNoWriMo
Close to 40k WHERE IS MY PLOT? LIFE? SETTING? They’re in December.
Haiku #146: A Dead Turkey's PoV
Gobble gobble bitch Getcha hand out my dead ass. Creepy muhfucka
Haiku #145: Jelly
Girl I see you here Writin’ these bamf ass poems and I am jelly
Haiku #144: Eyeliner
The more eye makeup you put on, the more likely it is you will cry.
Haiku #143: Minecraft
I’ll just play for like fifteen minutes… Where did the last 3 hours go?!
Haiku #142: Fucking College
How have things gotten So fucked up since I came back Can I call off sick?
Haiku #141: Etsy
Food-shaped necklaces, Vintage shoes, vegan desserts, Could this be real life?
Haiku #140: Shit to Do
So much shit to do And it overwhelms me, so I will take a nap.
Haiku #139: The Douchebag Express
People don’t belong if they’re gonna be douchebags. “Farewell, planet earth!”
Haiku #138: Sisterhood Everlasting
Did not expect this. My heart has been torn in two. WHY SANTORINI?!
Haiku #137: Leaving for tour
It’s tomorrow night. Moment I’ve been waiting for. So why am I scared?!?
Anonymous asked: Cuppa Cuppa Cake/Bitch, dis be some vegan cake/'Bouta make it soon
Anonymous asked: Msg me on Yahoo Messenger right now my SN is jonespapasdd121318
Haiku #136: The Unit
Most treasured moment? Seven a.m., girl you cute. What is love, baby?
Haiku #135: Green Party Headache
WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?!?!?! Aight I’mma need to leave now. …My dog is near death.
Haiku #134: Collegiate Douchebaggery
Plaid, hipster glasses, I think it’s bath time, don’t you? Public Safety, make him GIIIIIIIT.
Haiku #133: College Creepers #3 & 4
Threesome or dance rape? Doesn’t matter in Hillel. ZOE DON’T WANT YOU.
Haiku #132: College Creeper #2
A.M., library. Fiances? Now broken up. Girl, are you depressed?
Haiku #131: College Creeper #1
Van Meter Highway Flambini in a top hat Tryna make some cash
Haiku #130: My Gay Husband
You are my husband Dem titties ain’t good enough So here’s a GT
Haiku #129: Phonephobia
Cute guy from high school blowin up my phone - really? 4 hours, now talk?
Haiku #128: I'm So Fucking Tired
So she held the door. It doesn’t mean anything, but she called me doll.
Haiku #127: Another College Girl
“I’ll be right back guys” Goes downstairs, finds barren hall, Sits alone and cries.
Haiku #126: This College Girl
Will you look at me? …The floor seems interesting. Won’t pick dare again.
Haiku #125: Miss You
Tianna so fair Maiden of Goucher Green House Please come home to me
Haiku #124: Last Minute Packing
Toothpaste? Check. Books? Check. Sanity, though? Not so sure. Carry my life, please?
Haiku #123: Midnight Snack? No, Feast.
Half past eleven. The family slumbers, a perfect time for food.
Haiku #122: Drarry Party
Guac and fanfiction, Kate, Bobby, me, Internet. What could be better?
Haiku #121: 8:00am
Alarm goes off. FUCK. Hit snooze five times. FUCK I’M LATE. Well, goodbye cruel world.
Haiku #120: Fangirling Hatred Set Aside When Gold...
I gotta admit, I really really hate it… ………YOU’RE FOLLOWING ME?!?!
Haiku #119: Wisdom Teeth Surgery
Woke up and panicked. Slept all day, took Vicodin, Frozen peas on face.
Haiku #118: Birthday Party (part 2)
Mad Mex and best friends! Hopefully no bitches show. Summer birthdays rule.
Haiku #117: Birthday Party
I’m dressed like a bum. No one will even notice! Ugh…what is clothing?
Haiku #116: The Other Shark Week
Toss and turn in bed Aching, nauseous misery. Rather be a man.
Haiku #115: New Guitar
The love of my life. Capo secure, pick in hand. I could play for hours.
Haiku #114: No Sleep
Almost a full day. Have yet to get some shut eye. NOW TAKE ME AWAY.
Haiku #113: My Mom Is So Weird
Scratching on the door? Meowing, crawling up stairs? GIRL YOU ARE HUMAN.
Haiku #112: Deterioration
When fish pokes head out I giggle and coo, “AWWW LOOK!” Crazy fish lady.
Haiku 111: Tattoo.
Ink branded on me. Won’t come off, it’s there for life. BUT WHAT DO I WANT.
Haiku #110: Cribz
18-car garage. The walls are made of diamonds. Lol whats charity?
Haiku #109: Jersey Shore
Sam and Ronnie split. HAWT GUIDOOOOS!!!! Anyone care? FREE SNOOKI, BITCHES
Haiku #108: People.
Selfish and nasty. You ain’t no better than me. Get off your high horse.
Haiku #107: Pottermore
Find the Magic Quill! Many enter, few will win! Wait til October.
Haiku #106: The Best Picture
It’s only because you used the BEST ONE of me. HOW COULD YOU RUIN?!
Haiku #105: Parselmouthsfan
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. tom Felton is a sex toy. ginny weasley? Poor.
Haiku #104: Stretched Lobes
Painful, not cute, ick. I don’t get this body mod. Your ears smell awful.
Haiku #104: Copycat
Her skin ain’t thy own. Tattoos are meant to be yours. GIIIIIIT away from ink.
Haiku #103: Dat. Kili.
Saw the casting list. IMDB’d that cutie. SINCE WHEN ARE DWARVES HOT?!